Healthy Relationships

Presenting Barriers and Challenges

Some children and young people (CYP) may experience challenges in building and maintaining relationships. These can include:

• Difficulty working in groups during lessons, which may stem from anxiety, sensory sensitivities, or social processing differences.
• Masking or fawning behaviors, where a pupil may overcompensate or comply to fit in, often at the expense of their own comfort or identity.
• Frequent conflicts with peers, possibly due to misunderstandings, emotional regulation difficulties, or differing social expectations.
• Struggles with compromise and recognizing the needs or perspectives of others.
• Avoidance of unstructured times, such as break or lunch, or ongoing issues during these periods.
• Reluctance to share friendships, which may reflect a need for predictability or fear of rejection.
• Spending time alone — this can be a positive coping strategy but may also indicate social anxiety or exclusion.
• Challenges with playground games, including understanding rules, turn-taking, or managing competitive dynamics.
• Desire to control social situations, which may result in limiting others’ participation or ideas.
• Experiencing unfair treatment, such as exclusion, teasing, or bullying, which may not always be visible to adults.

Remember, not all learners will conform to neurotypical expectations of social interaction. It's essential to recognize and respect diverse ways of socializing and forming relationships.

Examples of Provision and Strategies

• Connect with the learner: Show genuine interest (e.g., "How are you feeling?" "I heard Leeds won last night!" or "I thought of you when I heard that news").
• Adopt relational approaches: Develop a trusting relationship with a consistent, empathetic adult (e.g., mentor, key adult).
• Create a trusted ‘team around the child’: Extend to two or three trusted adults to create a safe environment for the learner.
• Create opportunities for reciprocal play: Initially with an adult or adult support and then with peers. Emphasize shared experiences, enjoyment, and fun.
• Use turn-taking and mirroring games: Develop opportunities to tune into the child (e.g., music, playing chess, having their favorite biscuit).
• Plan for extracurricular activities: Inform these activities by learner voice (e.g., Lego club, Dungeons and Dragons, construction club).
• Explicitly teach conflict resolution and restorative practice.
• Provide outdoor learning opportunities: (e.g., Forest School/OPAL) that encourage learners to interact, cooperate, and form bonds with their peers and adults, fostering teamwork, communication, and empathy.
• Provide small group/nurture activities: Support peer relationships, e.g., interest-focused groups/clubs such as chess, art and craft, drama.
• Provide opportunities for social and emotional development: E.g., buddy systems, friendship strategies, circle time.
• Use restorative practice: Model and teach the importance of repair and restoration (e.g., restorative conversations).
• Ensure key friendships and relationships are maintained during transitions.